Alone, drunk and filled with despair, Ashley Prichard let go and the rope tightened around his neck.
It wasn't the first time Prichard had attempted suicide, but as the noose constricted his airway, choking the life out of him, he realized that death was not the path to healing he had been searching for.
"I know it sounds clichéd, but I saw my life flash before my eyes," the 22-year-old Marshall University student said, describing that fateful June evening.
What led Prichard to that moment was years of depression and internal struggle that prevented him living life true to himself. Prichard, who dresses solely in black and red and identifies with the gothic subculture, already knew what it felt like to be on the outside of mainstream society, a position that taught him everyone is equal no matter how different they may look.
"But as much as I preached acceptance, I never liked me," Prichard said.
And that's because he had been living a lie.
As death gripped ever tighter under a tree in the park, he struggled to gain a foothold, and the outspoken "goth girl," as he was known at home and on campus, determined he would give up the charade if he survived and embrace a truth he evaded all these years: Ashley Prichard is a man.
"I thought, 'Oh my God, I'm going to die unhappy and alone, hating myself because I was never honest,'" he said.
That's why Prichard decided to turn his life around.
Coming Out
Designated female at birth, Prichard knew, even from an early age, something wasn't right.
"[Being a man] was something I had to cover up for 13 years because I had to," Prichard said, later noting the anxieties of a tomboy being forced to wear dresses and pink colors in elementary school.
Prichard said from as early as age 5 he did not conform to society's rigid gender roles.
"I just tried to live out a life I thought was normal," he said.
Coming out as a transgender man wasn't something Prichard considered before his suicide attempt. At times, he thought he may be gender queer or gender fluid, terms used by people whose gender identities fall somewhere between male and female or outside the spectrum altogether. In fact, androgyny was already something familiar to Prichard from his time as part of the gothic subculture.
But when Prichard finally did come out in June or July - he doesn't remember the exact date - he decided to do something admittedly risky.
"You all have been made aware of my decision to come out as a transgender man," Prichard says in a campaign video for Marshall University's 2015 homecoming court posted to YouTube earlier this month.
Prichard is the first transgender man to run for Mr. Marshall.
"I'm like, 'Hey, look. This is who I am, and I'm comfortable with that," Prichard said of his decision to seek the position, which requires a campaign platform as well as community service and advocacy work for Marshall.
Despite active campaigning and warm reception from many, Prichard was not named Mr. Marshall on Saturday at the university's homecoming game against the University of North Texas.
Following the announcement, with sadness in his voice, Prichard said it's OK he didn't win.
"Win or lose, I'll be winning or losing as an equal," he told the Gazette-Mail before the game. "If there is a core to my campaign, it's that everyone deserves a shot."
But some have said Prichard doesn't have a place on the court.
While the university as a whole have been accepting - students voted Prichard through one round that cut several candidates and he placed in the final round's top half - some have lashed out. Prichard said he has come across several vicious comments on social media sites like Yik Yak, which allows users to post messages anonymously.
Most of those messages point out the fact Prichard ran for Miss Marshall last year as a female.
In light of that, Prichard's decision to come out has been questioned, but he addresses that with honesty.
"I haven't always been true to myself, and that's something not a lot of people seem to understand about me running again," he said. "Ashley last year was the same person, but he wasn't forthcoming or honest."
Prichard said his bids for Mr. and Miss Marshall have been focused on advancing acceptance on campus - last year for those who may not fit society's mold and this year for the transgender community.
"Gender isn't a conversation that happens much on campus," Prichard said, adding lesbian, gay and bisexual students are accepted, but that transgender students "haven't had our moment yet."
Because many transgender people are not in a position to come forward with their identities - many states still have laws on the books that allow discrimination in housing and employment - Prichard said progress has been slow. But, he said he is in a position to take negativity because it's something he is used to.
"I'm not going to get kicked out of my home," Prichard said. "I'm not going to lose loved ones, and nothing extraordinarily bad is going to happen to me."
Because he can handle the criticism that may come from exposure, Prichard hopes to "put a dent in the system." For Prichard, the lack of visibility for the transgender community on campus and at large is a problem that needs addressed.
"We're portrayed in a negative light," he said. "We're left out of the LGBT equation in many situations."
According to a 2013 study by the Healthy Minds Network, which surveyed more than 14,000 college students in America, transgender students reported feeling less optimistic about their future, that they weren't respected and that programs and services are not sensitive enough to cultural issues like gender identity. Transgender men and women also are more prone to depression, anxiety and eating disorders, and nearly 33 percent of surveyed students admitted they contemplated committing suicide.
Those are things Prichard is all to familiar with. He said he knows several transgender students who have left campus and that others still are living two completely separate lives - all for fear of how they may be treated if they come out.
A 2011 report by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force found that 78 percent of transgender K-12 youth and 35 percent of transgender college students reported experiencing either physical, verbal or sexual violence by students, teachers or staff due to their gender identity or expression.
That's something Prichard hopes to see changed and something he hopes his campaign will help correct.
"I just want to be strong role model," Prichard said. "Mr. and Miss Marshall aren't always remembered, and sure, the homecoming king can't save the world, but I can be visible for people who can't and this is a way I can help."
While winning was the goal, Prichard said being a part of court is a major step forward for himself and the advancement of transgender visibility. He said he just wants to be happy and hopes his struggle with accepting himself for who he is will help others do the same whether or not they quietly struggle.
"That's literally all I wanted - to be seen as another man in the eyes of the university," he said.
And there's no need for special treatment, Prichard added. He, like many transgender men and women, just wants to live a normal life.
Reach Samuel Speciale at sam.speciale@wvgazettemail.com, 304-348-7939 or follow @samueljspeciale on Twitter.