Staff writer
While poring through the pages of the product produced by my principal employer during my decades spent soaking up culture and coffee and cranking out words in a newsroom in West Virginia's capital city, I've encountered a number of stories about people claiming to see the images of religious icons take shape in a variety of unlikely, everyday settings.
We've carried stories about crowds being drawn to view the likeness of Jesus appearing on a the door of a freezer perched on a mobile home's porch, a slice of toast, a kudzu-covered utility pole and a half-eaten Kit Kat bar. We've dutifully published reports of Virgin Mary silhouettes showing up on such mundane media as the wall of a shed, the side of a grilled cheese sandwich and the window of a used car sales office.
Gardeners have lugged have lugged bushels of ill-formed tomatoes and loam-shedding root vegetables bearing features resembling human anatomy parts into the newsroom so that those of us lucky enough to be on hand for their presentations can nod appreciatively at their finds, not to mention imaginations, before politely explaining why we aren't able to run photos of their specially endowed produce in the newspaper.
So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised last week, when I read about the Midlothian, Virginia, man who spotted the head, shoulders and folded arms of Donald Trump on a newly-laid bathroom tile while making use of the remodeled lavatory's throne.
"I was sitting on the toilet when I looked over here and saw it," Clayton Litten told a reporter for WVTR-TV in Richmond, who interviewed the man as he sat atop the commode from which the Trump Tile was initially spotted. "I had to look like three times, and then I said 'This can't be!'" he said.
Litten said the then summoned his wife and members of the remodeling crew to the scene for verification. They all agreed that the image of the presumptive presidential nominee could be seen "as clear as day," Litten said.
"What are the odds? One in a trillion?" the Virginia man and Trump supporter cheerfully wondered aloud.
Maybe Trump's image appeared in the restroom as part of the candidate's effort to make America grout again. Or perhaps his likeness surfaced in the suburban Richmond bathroom to help build the greatest stall ever seen.
But I just couldn't see it.
An image of the Trump Tile appeared on WVTR's website, with the alleged likeness of The Donald's face helpfully circled in red for those, like me, who on first, second and third glances, saw nothing but random mocha and off-white splotches of color on the tile. After staring at the encircled area for several minutes, though, I was able to conjure up something that looked vaguely like a partial cat's face with two widely spaced, mismatched eyes, but no Trump and no crossed arms.
I was not alone, according to a highly unscientific poll that appeared on the TV station's Facebook page. Of the more than 300 people responding to the poll, 41 percent said they could not see Trump's image on the tile, while 38 percent checked a box saying they had difficulty unseeing it. The remaining 21 percent had an entirely different take on the apparition:
To them, it looked just like Hillary.