My Uncle John S. Wallace was what we used to call a "school man." He was not only a district superintendent but a classroom teacher of mathematics. He had studied German in college, and was one of two children of the eight born of my grandmother and grandfather who went to college. He grew up on a red dirt farm in York County, South Carolina, and in my view was a man of distinction.
It was some sort of birthday celebration for him, perhaps the eightieth, and I was kidding him a bit. I asked him, with a serious look on my face, "Are you John S. Wallace?" His answer was quick. "I used to be," he said with a faint smile on his face. For a moment, he viewed himself as a "used to be" person. As teacher, a Knight Commander of his beloved Masonic Lodge, as Moderator of the Presbytery of Charleston, South Carolina, he supported the work of his congregation as he was Clerk of Session, which required particular skills which he had.
"Used to be." I have thought of myself in that way. At 80, I can look back on decades of ordained ministry in the Presbyterian Church, (U.S.A.), as an occasional church musician, and as a hospital chaplain.
Looking back, I knew that Uncle Jack was not a "used to be" person. He was still very much the husband of my Aunt Sophie, parent of my cousin Katherine, and grandfather as well. Towards the end of his life, he and I were standing near his beautiful azalea garden. Although his memory was fading, he said, "Lawton, I am not afraid of death, but I will miss all this beauty". He and my father loved flowers and wanted people to love them as well. Far from "past it", he was of great value in and of himself.
A child could have a feeling that past times are just gone. As a young man I was on the verge of being pastor of two hundred people. As I look back, it is hard to see my younger self as just that! Putting the past in respective is sometimes daunting.
I often sit at table with several older people. Many are able to tell me of their past occupations and of important jobs. They and John Silvanus Wallace are who they are, persons of value, still contributing to the world's store of knowledge. They are still very much who they were. They bear their pasts with fortitude, and make new friends in a place which could be considered a haven for "has beens." Yes, we all have pasts, but whether good or ill, we are still persons of worth, just as my uncle, sitting in a nursing home chair, unable to speak, was still very much my Uncle Jack. He perhaps knew me as he patted my knee as he did when I sat by him in his Packard car, as he drove me 200 miles to stay with relatives as my dad recovered from serious illness.
The scriptures of Christianity and Judaism refer to age, and things lost in time. Perhaps other holy books do the same. In any case, people in their age are not truly lost, but their deeds are a heritage carried into the present. Hair may be lost or gray, but our hearts can be warmed by a Spiritual Presence by whatever name called. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness cannot overcome it. (Gospel of John 1:5)
Lawton Posey is a retired minister of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and used to be many things, Today, he and countless others seek to measure their lives by much more than what they have once done. He is 80.