Circumstances had kept us apart longer than usual and I wasn't happy about it. One evening, as my daughter and I texted, I said, "Are you aware we haven't seen you and your family since Christmas?"
"Yes, I know," she said. "We've just been so busy!"
"I understand," I replied, "but family may not be forever, you know." I realized I was putting her on a major guilt trip and felt a little guilty myself for doing so, but a few days later, she contacted me to ask if a certain day was convenient for her and her daughter to come for a short visit. I was elated!
We had a wonderful visit. Other family members came by. We ate. We reminisced. We laughed. We even got in a little shopping. But, as usual, our time together was over much too soon.
"It's your turn to come down our way now," my daughter said as we stood in the driveway saying our good-byes. "It'll soon be fall, your favorite time of year. Why don't you plan a mid-October visit?"
"Ah, how beautiful the mountains will be by then!" I said. She smiled, knowing that would be my motivation.
After picture-taking and hugs all around, she eased into the driver's seat of her little sports car, and her daughter slid in beside her. Too soon, I heard the roar of the engine and saw the two girls waving from their windows as they drove away. I, barefoot and still in my robe, ambled toward my front door, stomach and heart already aching with a twinge of sadness - even before they were completely out of sight - and worry. God, please watch over them and keep them safe on this long journey.
Although I've experienced this separation anxiety many times before, I've never gotten used to it. I often think, Oh, to have them small again just for a little while - to know they're always safe and protected.
But recently I came across a prayer that helped me rethink my views about letting go of my children and living a new and different life myself.
Perhaps it will help other mothers who are missing their children.
nnn
Author unknown
"Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?" - Isaiah 43:18-19
"Loving Spirit,
What is this new thing you are doing in me?
"My life is and has been so very full. Each day it has been shaped by the miracle of being a mother. For so many years, my every moment was intently set on the world of raising my children.
"But Lord, they have grown up and moved away. I am lonesome now. I miss my children! They no longer rely on me in the same way. My time is less taken up with them and, at moments, I want to turn back the clock. Help me to see what you have in the making for me now. You are doing something new in me. You are preparing me for a new phase, a new service and a new way of loving you.
"Keep my eyes clear and my heart open to the ways you call me, Lord. And help me always to be grateful for the many gifts of each day."
nnn
How exciting! I can't wait to see what new thing He has in store for me now!
Peggy Toney Horton lives in Nitro and can be reached at pegylu@suddenlink.net.