Executives from both sides of Fox's $725 million purchase last week of National Geographic magazine and the National Geographic Channel maintain that the sale will benefit both entities' "brand" and bottom line, while not affecting National Geographic's programming or publications.
I'm not so sure about the last part, with Australian rules Republican-booster Rupert Murdoch now in the owner's booth for both Fox and NatGeo.
Don' t be surprised to find your National Geographic Channel program guide filled with the likes of:
"The 'Oh, Really?' Factor." Senate Environment Committee Chairman Jim Inhofe, R-OK, takes viewers to a Zamboni ride and snowball fight at a Tulsa Oilers hockey game, then visits the penguin exhibit at the Tulsa Zoo to prove that global warming is a myth.
"Talk Down." Fox News legal correspondent Andrew Napolitano make guest appearance during NatGeo's popular real-life crimebuster series spinoff, as he combines a firm grip on a bullhorn with a loose grasp of American history to dispense cruel and unusual verbal punishment while badgering rioting inmates at Colorado's Sterling Correctional Center into submission and a voluntary surrender of television viewing rights.
"Live Free or Fry." Spinoff of NatGeo reality show takes viewers on a tour of maximum security prisons in Alabama, Florida, South Carolina and Kentucky, the only places in the world that still use the electric chair as a capital punishment option.
"Life Below Gyro." NatGeo reality show focuses on four hardy individuals and families who live on the fringe of the urban frontier, tackling life as few of us would dare to - in basement apartments below Greek delis.
"Rugs, Inc." Host Elton John dishes on fellow follicle-impaired entertainers and politicians who rely on hairpieces or implants to reduce scalp exposure.
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Or, we could see National Geographic articles like these:
"Exploring Obama's Kenyan Cradle of Birth"
"The Mystery of Appalachia's Vanishing Mountaintops"
"Beautiful Benghazi: A Look at the City Beyond Clinton's Diplomatic Compound Debacle"
"New Hope for Paris' Belittled Right Bank"
"Polar Bears: Could Karma, Not Climate Change, Be Driving These Vicious Killers to the Brink?"
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Speaking of bears, I was saddened to learn on Friday that Ginger, the Columbus Zoo's star grizzly bear, had died at the age of 40. She is believed to have been the oldest grizzly raised in captivity, which in all likelihood makes her the world's oldest known brown bear. Survived by eight cubs - six born in Cleveland and the other two in Columbus - she was hardy enough on her 40th birthday to scarf down a bear-shaped peanut butter cake prepared by her keepers.
Her long life, filled with noise and humans instead of peace and salmon, gives one paws.